The rest of my time in Bali blurred together as I packed, babysat, wandered around the island soaking up all the beauty, and spent any spare minute I could with friends. I know I’ll never forget these moments as I grow up. Going to church for the last time was filled with hugs and laughs as we all masked our disappointment. We even went out to lunch with Kat, Jax, and Lyssa. We realized that every time we went somewhere after church, it was with this original group, and every time we’re so tired we’re all delirious, acting crazy and talking nonsense. I remember looking at this group of friends feeling a sudden surge of hope in my chest. I went so long thinking I’ll never make friends to suddenly having three great ones.
All the way up till our last day, I had the time of my life. Even if there were times I broke down and gave into the feeling of hopelessness, realizing I’m leaving the place where my whole life consisted, yet again. I pushed that aside, though. I refuse to feel that way. This move will be good for my family and I, I repeated in my head. This is good.
As days of bowling, bird parks, and escape rooms past, and the day of the move looms closer, we put the finishing touches on our house. I went outside to take a Polaroid photo of the home we lived in for the past two years, smiling at all the memories. I realized that I am more than satisfied with the time we spent here. Staring at my house, I looked back at the memories forever engraved in my head: the beach, friends, church and ministry, stepping out of my comfort zone, and feeling and being closer to God than I ever had before. And later, sitting on the plane towards Jakarta, I can finally start feeling excited for the new adventures waiting for me there.
Wow! The last post of the Bali Musings series. I hope you all enjoyed, I know I have! I hope you didn’t mind the ups and downs of my emotions over the week, this was literally my inner monologue during this time.
This was the place of many firsts for me, and I was so glad it was here. Living in Bali was never meant to be permanent, and so is living in Jakarta. I guess growing up in this certain lifestyle affected my way of feeling and allowing myself to feel accepted and that I belonged. Unfortunately for me, as I began to feel that way I only had a few months left, only I didn’t know it yet. I hope I can feel that way in Jakarta again. I hope I won’t allow myself to build walls around my heart so tall that it takes years to break them down again. I hope I let people in, even though I know I’ll leave again.
Bye for now, Bali.
love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.