Bali Musings Day 8-12 | Travel

The rest of my time in Bali blurred together as I packed, babysat, wandered around the island soaking up all the beauty, and spent any spare minute I could with friends. I know I’ll never forget these moments as I grow up. Going to church for the last time was filled with hugs and laughs as we all masked our disappointment. We even went out to lunch with Kat, Jax, and Lyssa. We realized that every time we went somewhere after church, it was with this original group, and every time we’re so tired we’re all delirious, acting crazy and talking nonsense. I remember looking at this group of friends feeling a sudden surge of hope in my chest. I went so long thinking I’ll never make friends to suddenly having three great ones.

All the way up till our last day, I had the time of my life. Even if there were times I broke down and gave into the feeling of hopelessness, realizing I’m leaving the place where my whole life consisted, yet again. I pushed that aside, though. I refuse to feel that way. This move will be good for my family and I, I repeated in my head. This is good. 

As days of bowling, bird parks, and escape rooms past, and the day of the move looms closer, we put the finishing touches on our house. I went outside to take a Polaroid photo of the home we lived in for the past two years, smiling at all the memories. I realized that I am more than satisfied with the time we spent here. Staring at my house, I looked back at the memories forever engraved in my head: the beach, friends, church and ministry, stepping out of my comfort zone, and feeling and being closer to God than I ever had before. And later, sitting on the plane towards Jakarta, I can finally start feeling excited for the new adventures waiting for me there.

___

Wow! The last post of the Bali Musings series. I hope you all enjoyed, I know I have! I hope you didn’t mind the ups and downs of my emotions over the week, this was literally my inner monologue during this time.

This was the place of many firsts for me, and I was so glad it was here. Living in Bali was never meant to be permanent, and so is living in Jakarta. I guess growing up in this certain lifestyle affected my way of feeling and allowing myself to feel accepted and that I belonged. Unfortunately for me, as I began to feel that way I only had a few months left, only I didn’t know it yet. I hope I can feel that way in Jakarta again. I hope I won’t allow myself to build walls around my heart so tall that it takes years to break them down again. I hope I let people in, even though I know I’ll leave again.

Bye for now, Bali.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 7 | Travel

This morning was filled with chaos and stress. With the moving truck coming in only three days, we rushed to touch up anything that was worn out from use. As we finished, we made plans with some friends who are visiting from California to attend a wedding. We ate lunch and had ice cream, laughing at their four year old son’s antics. He insists on calling me “Tante” which is usually reserved for close friends who have children. (Don’t worry, you won’t find me having a child at age sixteen.)

Since they had just arrived that day, we took them to a supermarket where they can go to the ATM, and buy water and snacks. As we were saying our goodbyes for now, (I’ll be babysitting their son in few days,) Jax’s mom and sister came in, who is also one of my friends. Let’s call her Kat. Kat and her mom were waiting for Jax to finish a lesson, so they decided to shop and eat at the little café they have there. We introduced Kat and her mom to our friends and before long, our friends left to go to their hotel and we were left with Kat and her mom. Jax came when he was finished and we all made plans to watch a movie the next day.

We went home and I watched my youngest sister swim while my other sister made dinner and my mom went off doing who-knows-what. After my sister finished swimming, I settled into bed getting ready to watch some YouTube videos. The perfect end to a perfect day, well, minus the chaos and stress part!

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 6 | Travel

It was nearly 2:30 when excitement came today. We were off to pick up a few friends to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Let’s call them Maile and Lyssa. Another one of our friends, let’s call him Jaxon, was already at the mall and had bought our tickets. We picked up Maile, Lyssa, and Lyssa’s mom,  because she’s a friend of my mom’s and decided to hang out together while they waited for us to finish watching. Squishing into the car, (my two sisters were there as well,) we laughed and joked while my younger sister did Maile and Lyssa’s nails in the back seat. The movie was at 4:00 but it was about 3:20 when we got there. Lyssa and I went off to buy snacks the sneak in the theater, while Maile and my sister decided to sit down somewhere to finish doing their nails. Meeting Jax at the theater, I bought Maile her popcorn, since her nails were still wet.

The movie was like a rollercoaster of emotions, which was suprisring to me, since this was a superhero movie. Jax made fun of all my emotions during the movie but it’s okay because that movie was amazing. (Baby Groot is SO cute.) We stayed until after the credits because Marvel gave us trust issues and after the credits ended, we went to find our moms. We found them at a restaurant where we would eventually get all our nails done by my sister. Including Jax but that wasn’t even the first time, haha. Leaving the mall, we dropped Maile and Lyssa home but I still felt empty inside. Don’t get me wrong, I had the best time ever and I love all my friends dearly, but this feeling still keeps coming back. Maybe that’s just me pulling away emotionally before I get hurt. It’s happened before and I won’t be surprised if it happens again.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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ps- sorry for the lack of photos lately! wordpress isn’t letting me upload them for some reason!

Bali Musings Day 5 | Travel

Feeling much better this morning, I convinced myself to make the most of the day. It was a Sunday, so that meant church. I packed for an hour or so and eventually got ready to go to church, which starts at 10:30. After waiting for my sister to get ready, we headed off to church! We sang and danced and had the best time. My friends and I planned to go out to lunch after the service but we weren’t expecting a portion of the worship team to come as well. (Not that that was a bad thing, the more the merrier!) We ate noodles and coffee, played Jenga and cards, and overall laughed a ton.  As the lunch came to a close, a few of us planned to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 the next day.

After going to the grocery store, we drove back home and started packing once again. My room is mostly empty, now. Times like these I wonder why I attached myself to this place when I knew I was leaving soon. However, knowing I made friends with people I knew I would talk to for the rest of my life quickly erased the dread. I recalled this verse I memorized during school, Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”  I have a hope. I have a future. God knows my plans and I will not let darkness overcome me again.

photo from YouVersion

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 4 | Travel

I woke up this morning still having that feeling of dread. I shook it off, though, putting off that feeling until we left. Right now, I would feel nothing but contentedness. Eating the leftover snicker doodle cookie bars for breakfast, I finished my “to-do” list and was shocked to find out that it was nearly eleven o’clock. We decided to eat lunch at Trattoria in Sanur, not far from Café Batu Jimbar. Usually I eat pizza, but today I felt like something a little different. I eventually decided on spaghetti carbonara and some calamari to share with my youngest sister. After we enjoyed our meal, we drove to Mall Bali Galleria in Kuta. We went straight to Ace Hardware to buy a slow cooker, and to Gramedia to finally get that birthday present and to buy a highlighter, since my pink one ran out of ink. (Pink is very important, obviously).

I fell asleep during the ride home and before I knew it, we were back home. It was a particularly hot day, so my sisters and I decided to take a swim. We splashed and played bubbles with my sister’s dog, and for a moment, I felt happy. I realized then that I was eternally grateful to my sisters and that with them around I’ll never truly be alone.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musing Day 3 | Travel

After the usual morning routine of breakfast, studying, and getting ready for the day, we headed to another one of our favorite cafes, Café Batu Jimbar in Sanur. We live near Sanur so we were able to go there often. With its comfortable atmosphere, good service, and even better food we always feel at home.  After having our favorite lunch, hummus and salad for me, fish salad for my sister, nasi campur for my mom, and a ham and cheese sandwich for my other sister, we went to Hardy’s across the street to search for that birthday present we couldn’t find yesterday. We eventually decided on painting a plastic ball with some of his favorite things, since he plays basketball. (Update: the ball deflated so we need to find a plan B, lol.)

 

When we finished at Hardy’s, we drove to Krisna, the holy grails of tourist shopping. My mother found out that nobody sells boxes here! She phoned every box company in Bali and surrounding islands but came up with nothing. Finally she asked one of her friends and they told her that Krisna has some. So there we went. Buying boxes kind of made it more real for me. My heart broke a little bit more after buying the boxes but I shook it off because I’ll be okay. It was only about two o’clock when we got home, and we had a guest coming over at four. He was my sisters’ English tutor, and my youth group leader. Our families have grown close to each other throughout the months he tutored them. My sister cooked some chicken and roasted vegetables, while I baked snicker doodle cookie bars.

Despite the happy day, I went to bed that night with a heavy heart, feeling lonely and defeated. I can only wish and pray that I’ll feel better tomorrow.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day One| Travel

I woke up today with a smile on my face. The birds were chirping outside my bedroom window and the sun was shining beautifully. I put off unpacking the night before, so I quickly got to work unpacking my bag and putting things in place. My shoulders sagged at the thought of just packing everything back again in the span of the next few weeks, but I shook it off and decided to look at the situation in a positive view.  I love Bali with all my heart and there’s no doubt I’ll be leaving my heart here. Rolling my shoulders back and taking a deep breath, I pulled out my school work. A distraction will do. After a couple lessons of Business Math and United States History, my mother woke up and decided that today we were headed to Ubud. Ubud is one of my most favorite places in the entire world. With the rich Balinese culture mixed with all the art, I felt at home.

After an hour’s drive north, we finally arrived. We headed to one of my mom’s most favorite restaurants, Warung Bendega. She ate her lunch there, while my sisters and I went off to Dairy Queen to have some ice cream. She told us we didn’t need to eat there since I wasn’t the biggest fan of the place. (Meaning: A bee chased me during our last visit there and would not leave me alone. Which means I was traumatized.)

After we finished, we walked around, people watching and just avoiding getting hit by a car in general. (Ubud is insanely crowded with tourists, but I love it anyways).

We decided to head off to another one of our favorite restaurants because, after all, ice cream is hardly a meal. Hopping in the car, we made the quick drive to Mang Enking to eat. This place is special because we sit at our own Bales or gazebos while we eat. The Bales rest on a koi pond, where you can feed the fish. We don’t necessarily come to eat the food, more like we come to feed the fish.

Enjoying the beautiful view of the rice fields on my left, I came to the conclusion that life couldn’t get better than this. I was blessed with a unique life many people envy, and while it does get tough, I’ll always be strong and I’ll always be okay. We went grocery shopping after we finished, and by the time we got home it was already six o’clock. Skipping dinner, I studied a little bit more to make up what I missed while being gone, opened Word Document and started typing away. This, I thought, this is the life. Writing, traveling, loving and just being, I could do this, I believed. Yeah, I can do this.

Here’s my journal entry for day one of my time in Bali! As you can probably tell, I’m a bit conflicted about what I should feel, but I’m going to stay positive. I know this post was a little different, but as I said in my last post, I felt like “narrating” these entries, just wanted to try something different. I hope you enjoyed it!

See you tomorrow.

love, jane. Aka the unlost wanderer.

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