Bali Musings Day 8-12 | Travel

The rest of my time in Bali blurred together as I packed, babysat, wandered around the island soaking up all the beauty, and spent any spare minute I could with friends. I know I’ll never forget these moments as I grow up. Going to church for the last time was filled with hugs and laughs as we all masked our disappointment. We even went out to lunch with Kat, Jax, and Lyssa. We realized that every time we went somewhere after church, it was with this original group, and every time we’re so tired we’re all delirious, acting crazy and talking nonsense. I remember looking at this group of friends feeling a sudden surge of hope in my chest. I went so long thinking I’ll never make friends to suddenly having three great ones.

All the way up till our last day, I had the time of my life. Even if there were times I broke down and gave into the feeling of hopelessness, realizing I’m leaving the place where my whole life consisted, yet again. I pushed that aside, though. I refuse to feel that way. This move will be good for my family and I, I repeated in my head. This is good. 

As days of bowling, bird parks, and escape rooms past, and the day of the move looms closer, we put the finishing touches on our house. I went outside to take a Polaroid photo of the home we lived in for the past two years, smiling at all the memories. I realized that I am more than satisfied with the time we spent here. Staring at my house, I looked back at the memories forever engraved in my head: the beach, friends, church and ministry, stepping out of my comfort zone, and feeling and being closer to God than I ever had before. And later, sitting on the plane towards Jakarta, I can finally start feeling excited for the new adventures waiting for me there.

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Wow! The last post of the Bali Musings series. I hope you all enjoyed, I know I have! I hope you didn’t mind the ups and downs of my emotions over the week, this was literally my inner monologue during this time.

This was the place of many firsts for me, and I was so glad it was here. Living in Bali was never meant to be permanent, and so is living in Jakarta. I guess growing up in this certain lifestyle affected my way of feeling and allowing myself to feel accepted and that I belonged. Unfortunately for me, as I began to feel that way I only had a few months left, only I didn’t know it yet. I hope I can feel that way in Jakarta again. I hope I won’t allow myself to build walls around my heart so tall that it takes years to break them down again. I hope I let people in, even though I know I’ll leave again.

Bye for now, Bali.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 7 | Travel

This morning was filled with chaos and stress. With the moving truck coming in only three days, we rushed to touch up anything that was worn out from use. As we finished, we made plans with some friends who are visiting from California to attend a wedding. We ate lunch and had ice cream, laughing at their four year old son’s antics. He insists on calling me “Tante” which is usually reserved for close friends who have children. (Don’t worry, you won’t find me having a child at age sixteen.)

Since they had just arrived that day, we took them to a supermarket where they can go to the ATM, and buy water and snacks. As we were saying our goodbyes for now, (I’ll be babysitting their son in few days,) Jax’s mom and sister came in, who is also one of my friends. Let’s call her Kat. Kat and her mom were waiting for Jax to finish a lesson, so they decided to shop and eat at the little café they have there. We introduced Kat and her mom to our friends and before long, our friends left to go to their hotel and we were left with Kat and her mom. Jax came when he was finished and we all made plans to watch a movie the next day.

We went home and I watched my youngest sister swim while my other sister made dinner and my mom went off doing who-knows-what. After my sister finished swimming, I settled into bed getting ready to watch some YouTube videos. The perfect end to a perfect day, well, minus the chaos and stress part!

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 6 | Travel

It was nearly 2:30 when excitement came today. We were off to pick up a few friends to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Let’s call them Maile and Lyssa. Another one of our friends, let’s call him Jaxon, was already at the mall and had bought our tickets. We picked up Maile, Lyssa, and Lyssa’s mom,  because she’s a friend of my mom’s and decided to hang out together while they waited for us to finish watching. Squishing into the car, (my two sisters were there as well,) we laughed and joked while my younger sister did Maile and Lyssa’s nails in the back seat. The movie was at 4:00 but it was about 3:20 when we got there. Lyssa and I went off to buy snacks the sneak in the theater, while Maile and my sister decided to sit down somewhere to finish doing their nails. Meeting Jax at the theater, I bought Maile her popcorn, since her nails were still wet.

The movie was like a rollercoaster of emotions, which was suprisring to me, since this was a superhero movie. Jax made fun of all my emotions during the movie but it’s okay because that movie was amazing. (Baby Groot is SO cute.) We stayed until after the credits because Marvel gave us trust issues and after the credits ended, we went to find our moms. We found them at a restaurant where we would eventually get all our nails done by my sister. Including Jax but that wasn’t even the first time, haha. Leaving the mall, we dropped Maile and Lyssa home but I still felt empty inside. Don’t get me wrong, I had the best time ever and I love all my friends dearly, but this feeling still keeps coming back. Maybe that’s just me pulling away emotionally before I get hurt. It’s happened before and I won’t be surprised if it happens again.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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ps- sorry for the lack of photos lately! wordpress isn’t letting me upload them for some reason!

Bali Musings Day 5 | Travel

Feeling much better this morning, I convinced myself to make the most of the day. It was a Sunday, so that meant church. I packed for an hour or so and eventually got ready to go to church, which starts at 10:30. After waiting for my sister to get ready, we headed off to church! We sang and danced and had the best time. My friends and I planned to go out to lunch after the service but we weren’t expecting a portion of the worship team to come as well. (Not that that was a bad thing, the more the merrier!) We ate noodles and coffee, played Jenga and cards, and overall laughed a ton.  As the lunch came to a close, a few of us planned to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 the next day.

After going to the grocery store, we drove back home and started packing once again. My room is mostly empty, now. Times like these I wonder why I attached myself to this place when I knew I was leaving soon. However, knowing I made friends with people I knew I would talk to for the rest of my life quickly erased the dread. I recalled this verse I memorized during school, Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”  I have a hope. I have a future. God knows my plans and I will not let darkness overcome me again.

photo from YouVersion

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 4 | Travel

I woke up this morning still having that feeling of dread. I shook it off, though, putting off that feeling until we left. Right now, I would feel nothing but contentedness. Eating the leftover snicker doodle cookie bars for breakfast, I finished my “to-do” list and was shocked to find out that it was nearly eleven o’clock. We decided to eat lunch at Trattoria in Sanur, not far from Café Batu Jimbar. Usually I eat pizza, but today I felt like something a little different. I eventually decided on spaghetti carbonara and some calamari to share with my youngest sister. After we enjoyed our meal, we drove to Mall Bali Galleria in Kuta. We went straight to Ace Hardware to buy a slow cooker, and to Gramedia to finally get that birthday present and to buy a highlighter, since my pink one ran out of ink. (Pink is very important, obviously).

I fell asleep during the ride home and before I knew it, we were back home. It was a particularly hot day, so my sisters and I decided to take a swim. We splashed and played bubbles with my sister’s dog, and for a moment, I felt happy. I realized then that I was eternally grateful to my sisters and that with them around I’ll never truly be alone.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musing Day 3 | Travel

After the usual morning routine of breakfast, studying, and getting ready for the day, we headed to another one of our favorite cafes, Café Batu Jimbar in Sanur. We live near Sanur so we were able to go there often. With its comfortable atmosphere, good service, and even better food we always feel at home.  After having our favorite lunch, hummus and salad for me, fish salad for my sister, nasi campur for my mom, and a ham and cheese sandwich for my other sister, we went to Hardy’s across the street to search for that birthday present we couldn’t find yesterday. We eventually decided on painting a plastic ball with some of his favorite things, since he plays basketball. (Update: the ball deflated so we need to find a plan B, lol.)

 

When we finished at Hardy’s, we drove to Krisna, the holy grails of tourist shopping. My mother found out that nobody sells boxes here! She phoned every box company in Bali and surrounding islands but came up with nothing. Finally she asked one of her friends and they told her that Krisna has some. So there we went. Buying boxes kind of made it more real for me. My heart broke a little bit more after buying the boxes but I shook it off because I’ll be okay. It was only about two o’clock when we got home, and we had a guest coming over at four. He was my sisters’ English tutor, and my youth group leader. Our families have grown close to each other throughout the months he tutored them. My sister cooked some chicken and roasted vegetables, while I baked snicker doodle cookie bars.

Despite the happy day, I went to bed that night with a heavy heart, feeling lonely and defeated. I can only wish and pray that I’ll feel better tomorrow.

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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Bali Musings Day 2 | Travel

Today was going to be a good day. I could feel it in my bones. As I woke up this morning, two hours after I normally do because my phone died which meant to alarm, I prayed to God to give me the strength I needed to get through the day. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, asking for strength. Sometimes I get what I need and sometimes I feel like I’m lacking. But I’ll get through. I always do. Shuffling  toward  my desk I start my routine: eat breakfast while doing a school lesson, cram in as much as I can before we go off on an adventure for the day, and then have some free time. Today, I decided to practice some lettering. I bought my iPad Pro with the salary I earned last year, and felt a sense of pride in buying something for myself on my own.

Hours later, we head off to lunch to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants, Haishen. You know it’s the real deal just by looking at all the Chinese tour buses parked in the front. After we finished, we went to Kuta aka the tourist hot spot. Kuta is relatively known for partying etc., during the night, but during the day it’s like anything else in Bali- beautiful. We were meant to meet with one of our family friends who we call Opa… well, for anonymity, let’s call him Opa Gabe. Opa means grandfather in Indonesian, but it’s also Dutch, because Indonesia was a Dutch colony for over a hundred years. Opa Gabe has been a blessing to our family ever since he stepped into my parents’ café asking for chicken soup. (My mom and sister make the best chicken noodle soup). He saw me studying and asked me what I was doing, where I was from, etc. Turns out, he was familiar with the curriculum I use and that peaked my mother’s attention. They talked and talked, and now, we meet him at least twice a year when he’s in town. We arrived at Lippo Mall Kuta early, in fear of traffic making us late. My mother settled in Maxx Coffee trying to get some work done, while my sisters and I wandered around the mall trying to find a birthday present for a friend who’s party was in a few days. Circling the small mall twice and finding nothing, we went back to the café and found Opa Gabe sitting there. We talked and caught up with each other, while I soaked up any wisdom Opa Gabe will give.

It’s hard for us, but it isn’t hard for God.

The next place you move, you’ll love it. Remember that.

When it comes to relationships, you’re like a zipper. You open yourself up and then close back up. Be careful with how often you do that because your zipper can break. Make sure you’re opening up to the right person.

Be like a turtle, hard on the outside but soft on the inside.

After a quick dinner at Cosmic Burger Diner, we left the mall feeling refreshed and happy. We dropped Opa Gabe off to his hotel and we went grocery shopping at Carrefour to pick up anything we couldn’t find yesterday. You can never just shop at one place in Bali. Every store is just always missing that one important thing you need.

It was already late when we got home, and I went to sleep feeling more happy and hopeful than I had in a while.



 

Hello, friends! Here’s Day 2 of my time in Bali. I hope you enjoyed! I forgot to take pictures today (wow, expert blogger right here!) I hope you don’t mind.

Have a great day, and I’ll see you tomorrow!

love, jane. aka the unlost wanderer.

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